Sunday, August 9, 2009


It's odd, how depression settles into your bones.
No warning. Just out of left field. Creeps up on you, like some primordial predator, with designs on your very essence, not flesh.
I realize it begins days before, little things. Irritability, introversion.
People cease to entertain/become a focus.
Things, little or big, do not seem to work quite the way they should....or
worse work absolutely the wrong way.
Your mind kind of descends into a fugue state for a while. Mental and emotional skin thickens.
You don't always see it coming. Work too busy, too tired to register the small
shifts in your emotional state.
Then one morning you wake, and it all seems futile...un-rewarding...empty.
The worst part of it all is, you know better...if you have experienced it before
you know MUCH better...and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT....
all you can do is ride it down, like Dr Strangelove, ride it down to it's inevitable conclusion. Hanging on for dear life, hoping that the detonation only
affects you...and harms no others...
It is pain, inescapable...and though you know there is an end, you cannot see it
for the now....
you know, It really sucks.... :)

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