Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Feline Fail....

I'm sitting here reading a blog...(it's always at the computer, JEEBUS I gotta get a life)
When I hear a galloping of wifely feet.
(or so I hoped, either that or the cat had gained 100+ lbs...NOT an event I wish to consider).

I wonder, as she has gone upstairs exhausted after having class and then entertaining her mother with shopping(an event that always raises my blood pressure)why she has returned to the land of light, and consciousness.

I turn, to see her round the corner, and as I register she holds a bag of biological doom...and a look of terror...then smell hits me.
The cat has perpetrated another atrocity.
This is normal, but not usually so bad that the smell can reach across a room out of a plastic bag and assault my sinuses.
The same sinuses I inherited from my father.
The ones that don't work right.
The ones that can't smell ammonia capsules waved under them.

It is palpable.
It is physical.
It is not merely odor.
I swear I see it reach across the room for me...

I didn't process the smell in the first half second, but my eyes starting to water of their own accord led me to believe what was about to happen was NOT any stretch.

The wife, looking quite cute in her sleep shirt, held it out to me to dispose being the only fully dressed one in the she approached with her own look of anguish.
My body (in that last half second before my brain processed the forceful chemical assault coming from ill-used nerves in my sinus cavity) recoiled in reflex fear.

Behind the wife came the cat, trouncing around the corner with a spring in her though she'd lost weight...
She had...
It was vile.

I grabbed the bag, and nearly threw it AT the cat...
What stopped me???
the wife, gagging through the miasma of 'stink' that followed her down the stairs...
"Don't throw that *kaff..hurk* at my cat..."
(this almost didn't stop me...then she finished)
"the bag might explode!"
Nothing could have arrested my flinging of the litter bag faster...

And the cat just looked up at me with cute 'innocence'...

Do domesticated cats have no sense of smell?

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